Like a flower embraced by beams of sunlight after a mid-spring shower, I feel suddenly refreshed once again. Seeing mom and dad after a month and a half might have blurred out my consciousness of the built-up stress or it might have just been the idea of being in Washington again. It is after all a place that brings peace to my heart, regardless of how tormented and hollow my soul may be. Short as they were, the four days were plentiful of body-rejuvenation, food delicacies and care-free, light-hearted conversations with friends, to whom I have not spoken in ages. The series of dramas that I encountered or somehow was affiliated to before break was becoming overly detrimental to my mental state of mind. I perfectly comprehend the necessity of drama and gossip to an exclusive women’s institution. The fact that these dramas should be blown up to amounts unproportional to their existing significance though, is quite irritating to me. Petty are the little stories, which, out of the lack of nothing more worthy, are discussed over and over again in order to hear the same responses over and over again. It’s no less absurd than teaching a vegan to drink milk. I convinced myself and was also advised that if the matter is petty enough, it should not take so much concern in my mind. Nevertheless, I’m more annoyed and find myself unable to avoid the ruptures of these dramas rather than actually being concerned about them. My trip home, hence, gave me leverage over those friends of mine who were still burdened by the vicious endless cycles of dramas back on campus. At the moment, I’m making effort to minimize any annoyance or after-thoughts I may have upon encountering yet another “episode”.
On the topic of stress-relief, I wander to thoughts beyond the mere problems. Being able to acquire an empty, insouciant mind within silence is extremely rare, for the mind never stops being distracted normally let alone in complete silence. This, I can testify, through my nocturnal nights of drowning in depthless oceans of thoughts…instead of, of course, sleeping. I hardly find my mind free anywhere other than yoga days in modern dance class. There are no accompanists, like normal days and Kelly, my instructor only speaks on average 5 words every 15 minutes. Eyes are closed. Silence may seem appealing to brainnerves, so that they may dig out memories, both wonderful and depressing, to occupy your mind. Yet the movements are swift and the body is released. I find my thoughts, my tensions slowly unraveling themselves. The bad and the good sinking along with gravitation out of my earlobes and disappear onto the velvety darkness of the dancefloor. It is intriguingly relaxing especially at the end of my long mondays and wednesdays. I figure I should still pursue a dance class next semester- Jazz…it should be soothingly complementary to the senior seminar with Giovanna!